Don't specify, and you get what you get. Case in point:
I wrote on Facebook the other day about how I didn't have any stories or quotes or happenings for the blog. Either stuff was happening but I didn't feel like it was newsworthy or nothing was really going on here and my entire family and I were comatose for 8 days. Probably the former but you never know. Sure enough, last night, Breckin busted out with one of his many charms. Using inappropriate words.
The Doofenschmirtz back story is that we were supposed to have a playdate with some neighbor kids (Kellen and Mikah), they wanted to play outside, Breckin did not, had a meltdown, went inside, all kids followed him. Playdate commences in our house. All is well. Kellen and Mikah are asked if they'd like to stay for dinner (even though we are having cheeseburgers and- SIT DOWN FOR THIS ONE- 1) they haven't really ever had cheeseburgers and 2) DO NOT like them after trying them) I digress. Ok, so, here's where small child inappropriateness occurs.
Well, sort of. The rest of the Doofenschmirtz back story is this. Tiki LOVES- like makes it her daily hobby- to step or lay or sit down right in front of your next step. And, while she was previously sleeping 10 nanoseconds ago and your leg is already in mid-stride and somehow she appears out of thin air to lie back down right where your foot was going to go. Now and then, Dustin says "Crap, Tiki. Move it." But, she's big and doofy and kinda does whatever she pleases and makes a big scene of being asked to move nap spots.
So, anyway, Breckin is getting utensils. Gets up from his chair. Tiki appears out of thin air to stand right between him and the utensil drawer. And, my mini-Dustin says "Crap." Not loudly. Not for show. But with the tone, body language, and annoyance that only comes with someone who's worked behind a desk for 10 years and has to pay insurance bills and mow the lawn instead of golf. And, what do I do with all of my well-versed parenting skills? Bust up laughing. Almost spit out my root beer. Laugh out loud and with no restraint. Cause the vision of a small child saying a simple word like crap with the understanding of his father is down right hilarious.
Then, Dustin says "did he just say crack?" Oh no. So I laugh harder at the sight of my baby saying CRAP. So, Breckin says it again cause he thinks it's funny that I'm laughing. Dustin laughs. CRAP again. Dustin, in mid snort, says "You really shouldn't laugh. Get serious." Uh huh. Kellen and Mikah don't know whether to laugh cause we're laughing or stay serious cause saying crap when you're 5 isn't really ok. They are the only ones holding it together. Dustin hides behind the kitchen counter until he is done laughing. I pretend to look for stuff in the pantry until I'm done. And, since we have resumed our parental status upon returning to the table, dinner carries on.
But, damn it's funny to hear your kid say crap. And mean it like a man.
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